It is now time for us to descend into the Hellcano. Have you played a platformer before? Remember the fire level? Yeah that’s what this is. Lava lakes, lava waterfalls, burned out trees, and orange crystals that I assume are lava related. But who do we fight in this humid hearth? A flying woman who looks like Sonic, Knuckles, and the silver hedgehog combined that just dive bombs into your shield until she perishes. There are also two different lava slime ladies(?) and a lady Wolverine in a Wonder Woman outfit but lava-colored.
At the near-end of this long level(the speedrun time is about 13 mins) we see Nando attempting to leave this place because it is very hot. He is then grabbed by Sily, a salamander(not a gecko) lady who wants him to stay. Mia comes in pissed and Sily escapes. After catching up with her and Nando at some hot springs Mia and Sily get active. After beating Sily we are so upset that she touched Fern with her tail that we rip it off. Yes it does grow back. The tail gives us the ability to dash like Starfox in Smash Bros..
Young Nando has been tooked again, this time to the Freezing Plains. It looks like a winter wonderland and obviously you can slide on the ground. We have a flying fairy that shoots square cubes of ice that follow us around unless we destroy them which gets annoying, there’s a centaur unicorn lady, and a lady with furry arms and legs that throws the bottom piece of a snowman. Then we have to avoid torrential snowfall for way too many screens.
We find Mr. Nans having some tea with the ice queen Fria. Mia interrupts and promises beatings which Fria is absolutely down for. Yeeeaaahhh. Fria’s yearning for punishment upsets Mia even more, so she gives chase after Fria runs off with Fernando. Chasing after her requires us to pass through the “Room of Pleasure” which is a room with waaay too many spikes. As I attempt to not read into that room we catch Fria trying to give Fernando a surprise. Mia tells Fria to return her husband and Fria says she will but “Only after a good punishment!”
Now I don’t know if I said this earlier but when you beat a boss you have to hit em with a grapple to rip off/steal something from them. Most of them protest, but not Fria. She enjoys it entirely too much. Mia’s anger is not helping the situation at all. Afterwards we steal her bow. Ymir tells us that none of these women would actually hurt Fernando but Mia does not care. Because we have one more level, Ymir gives us a discount on “all goods for half the double price!”
Now I put off completing this game for some time because I wanted to beat all the challenges for every level but after failing the Hellcano speedrun twice I just gave up. I might get 100% completion next year when I replay this game.
Morganna has a very large castle with more than the necessary amount of nude Fernando statues. At some point we find Fernando running around looking for a bathroom when Mia and Morganna appear. After a quick war of words and Morganna vanishing we keep on trekking. Oh yeah, all of the enemies here are ones we’ve seen. When we reach a certain point we have a boss gauntlet and Fria is still horny.
Afterwards we get a glimpse of Morganna standing outside the bathroom while Fernando is using it. Morganna keeps trying to give reason as to why she should go in there and help him but Fernando insists that he’s fine. Following repeated failures Morganna just tries to pry the door open. Morganna really wants to shower with him. Mia appears and says she’s the only one who gets to do that. Fight time!
Morganna is lowkey cheap. When her health is depleted she calls in all the former bosses at the same time and it can get hectic. After we win Morganna says she only kidnapped Fernando cause she was lonely. Mia does not care and grapples her. Fern then comes running out the bathroom with nothing but white in his eyes as Ymir emerges from the lavatory with nothing on but a bath towel. Mia promises her a beating. We get some sappyness then her and Fernando kiss. Credits!
The credits are funny because we get to see the happy couple travel to the various locales and interact with the bosses. Most interactions consist of the boss ladies flirting with Fernando then getting assaulted by Mia.
The last thing we see in-game is a party outside of Mia and Fernando’s house with the whole cast present. Ymir runs towards the house and Mia appears to give her that promised beating. And that’s it for the normal mode!
Apparently there is a magic mode that I really don’t know anything about, and an earlier version of this game that is playable. So there is a significant amount of replayability, I just have to space out my playthroughs.
To conclude, this is a good looking(the pixel art), tight(controls), platformer with plenty of humor. The characters have more depth than your average enemy and are quite memorable. I would not be surprised if this got a sequel. And if you avoid doing all the extra stuff, this game isn’t even that long! So in a few sessions of fun you could have this game all wrapped up. Happy questing! I’ve got to go find a new platformer to play.
Posts similar to this one:
Wife Quest – Allow Me To Recall – Part One
Super Crate Box – Allow Me To Recall
Noir Syndrome – Allow Me To Recall
Blacksad: Under the Skin – Allow Me To Recall
Powered by YARPP.